"President" George W. Bush
How I Stole Your Election
Wed Nov 10, 2004 15:38
64.140.158.61

How I Stole Your Election

by George W. Bush

The first thing I did to steal your election was to make friends with
ALL the manufacturers and code-verifyers of the Electronic Voting
Machines. They were really nice, especially Diebold who gave me
$600,000 for my campaign. Wow, thanks dude!

http://nuclearfree.lynx.co.nz/stealing.htm

Next, I had my attack dog, Karl Rove, convince these companies to
either alter the vote totals on the central tabulator machines (simple
PCs running windows using Remote Access Server -- RAS), or reprogram
(via a downloadable software patch) the voting machines themselves so
that they would give the advantage to ME! Isn't America great?!? A
little money and some religious zealotry goes a looooong, loooong way.
Oh, the religious zealotry thing? That's just a cover. I'm not really
a Christian -- or at least I don't act like one. Anyway, I digress.

http://www.ejfi.org/Voting/Voting-25.htm#rig

Did you ever hear the media complaining about how inaccurate the exit
polls were in prior elections? No. That's because they basically ARE
accurate. But this election, the exit polls showed Kerry WAY ahead.
No problem. My buddies rigged the machines (and all they needed to do
was rig it in one state, Ohio, but they took care of at least Florida
for me too) not only to make me squeak by in the important battleground
states, like Florida and Ohio, but they also made sure that when I did
get a state that I was expected to win, the margin was HUGE so that my
"popular" vote would make it look like I had a mandate.

So let's recap how the popular vote thing worked again. Let's say we
didn't want it to look suspicious by taking states that Kerry really
would have won (except for Ohio and Florida, gotta take those! heh
heh). So we let him win there, but in order once again to boost the
"popular" vote (I put that in quotes because as you know, I'm not
REALLY popular), we bring my vote tallies RIGHT UP NEXT to Kerry's, to
jack up the "popular" vote as much as possible, even if I didn't win
the state.

Then, with states like North Carolina, we know we're going to steal the
state anyway (at least according to what the exit polls were telling
everyone.... and according to the long, long lines of new voters were
telling everyone ... because we all know most of those people were
voting for Kerry, not the status quo), so we just jack the crap out of
the vote total to REALLY stuff a crapload of "popular" votes in my
pocket. You see, this way I can get on the TV and declare that I have
a "mandate" and that I'm going to "cash in" on my political "capital"
(which I don't really have of course, but we made it look that way).

Here's a nice chart to show you what I mean. Take special note of how
the electronic voting machine totals compare to the paper ballot
totals. And see what I mean about North Carolina?
http://www.bandsagainstbush.org/cgi-bin/archives/exit_poll.gif

Look folks, if you really want me out of office, first you're going to
have to impeach me. But you know what, if you don't have verifiable
paper trails at the polls like these folks recommend
(http://openvotingconsortium.org ), and if you don't take these voting
machines out of the hands of private companies that are aligned with
one end of the political spectrum, then I'm gonna just continue to hose
you (and then my brother Jeb will be president too cause we're into
this dynasty thing, kind of like my buddies the Saudis... ain't it
cool?!?). Also, in 2006, we're going to steal about five more senate
seats, and then we'll have the "super-majority". That means the
Democrats can't do that confounded fillerbs... fillas....
fillbusters.... CRAP, well, they can't get in the darn way any more and
we can pass ANY laws we want about ANYTHING and put whoever we want on
the Supreme court. Ha ha, then you're REALLY screwed. So if you don't
fix this mess (I mean great system) in two years and have a verifiable
voting system nationwide, America is MINE!!!!! (and Jeb's and my
daddy's and Cheney's and Rove's... hey, we could even pass a law saying
I could be president for FOUR MORE YEARS after 2008! That would be
SOOO cool!) Anyway, I digress once again.

http://www.globalresearch.ca/articles/CHI411B.html

And that pesky Bev Harris. Man I wish she would go away. If too many
of you contribute to her cause, I might just get in trouble so KNOCK IT
OFF!!

http://www.blackboxvoting.org

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Fool me once.....", oh
CRAP, I forgot again. Well how about this? "This would be a heck of
lot easier if this was a dictatorship.... just so
long as I'm the dictator. Heh, heh." Well, sorry to say folks, but I
got my way. What are you gonna do about it, huh? Bring it on!!!

http://votergate.tv/votergate/votergatethemovie_64kb.mov

"Sincerely" Yours,

"President" George W. Bush

P.S. Pass it on! I dare ya.

Election conspiracy theories persist — Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Wed Nov 10 16:00