12 REASONS NOT TO BUILD AN ARK
ZOBOLI
12 REASONS NOT TO BUILD AN ARK
Sat Jan 10 00:48:56 2004
216.199.194.83

God said to Noah, "I'm going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil of mankind is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark."

After many years had passed, the skies began to cloud and torrents of rain began to fall. But Noah just sat in his front yard weeping.

"Why haven't you built the ark?" asked God.

"I did my best," replied Noah, "but so many things kept happening, I couldn't do it!

1. The blueprints you gave me for the Ark didn't meet city code, so I had to change them to get a construction permit.

2. The city then said I was violating their zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard. So, I had to get a variance.

3. The U.S. Forest Service required tree-cutting permits.

4. The EPA demanded I submit an environmental impact study concerning the flood.

5. The Army Corps of Engineers insisted on a detailed map of the proposed flood plain.

6. An animal rights group sued me when I tried to gather up all the animals two by two.

7. A local gay rights group protested in the street for a week because I was only taking males and females.

8. The State fined me because the animals didn't get their vaccination shots.

9. The Humane Society seized all the animals because they weren't licensed or registered.

10. The Equal Opportunity Commission shut me down claiming I wasn't hiring enough minorities.

11. The Coast Guard refused to let me navigate on the waters because the Ark was not marked by an identification number.

12. And, to top it all off, the IRS seized all my assets claiming I was trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country!

I'm sorry, God, but at this rate, I'll never finish the ark!"

Suddenly the rain stopped, the skies cleared, and the sun began to shine. "God, does this mean you're not going to devastate the earth?"

"Why should I bother?" said God, "It looks like the State and Federal governments are doing a great job of it already!"




The World Vision Portal
http://worldvisionportal.org/ 



Main Page -01/11/04

Message Board by American Patriot Friends Network [APFN]

APFN MESSAGEBOARD ARCHIVES

messageboard.gif (4314 bytes)